What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Why is our generation so unhappy?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Why do gun owners feel the need to defend themselves with deadly weapons? Can they not just talk things out like civilized people do?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

What measures do celebrities take to protect their images from being used for commercial purposes without permission? How much does this typically cost them?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

What might be the social consequences of an ethnic as opposed to a civic conception of the nation?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

What was the craziest place that you had sex with someone in public?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Do most narcissists have good intentions as long as you are under their control?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

How do I find a luxury service apartment in Gurgaon?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Is using tech to track or monitor your partner’s activities a sign of love, insecurity, or control?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Why are Trump's and Khan's experiences with authorities in the US and Pakistan similar?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

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Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Do girls ever miss their first love?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Do you consider masturbating to porn cheating if you are married?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...